


Dear Wormwood

by Khanofallorcs



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Chat Blanc flashbacks, F/M, MINOR Lukanette, Minor Adrigami, Post Season 3, Relationship(s), Songfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-18 03:41:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29111748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Khanofallorcs/pseuds/Khanofallorcs
Summary: Miracle Queen had upended everything. Their allies, their mentor, and the relationship between them. The first, exposed to an enemy who would not hesitate to target them if they dared reprise their roles. The second, gone on a train headed away from their lives, his memories never to return. And the last… that was the hardest to parse.Collection of songfics inspired by the album "Dear Wormwood" by The Oh Hellos.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8
Collections: Miraculous: Spin The Record Challenge





	1. Prelude

**Author's Note:**

  * For [NOIRequin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NOIRequin/gifts), [MiaBrown](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiaBrown/gifts).



> This story goes out to NOIRequin on the _Miraculous Fanworks_ Discord server, who put forward the Spin the Record Challenge, and to Mia Brown who helped me make sense of what I'm doing. Noir wanted people to write fanfic based on the albums they're listening; admittedly, I had hoped to finish it by the deadline rather than only start posting parts, but what can you do? Hopefully this is what you were looking for.
> 
> I'd love to give special thanks to [Mia Brown](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiaBrown) for beta reading this fic on very short notice, helping me smooth out the parts that didn't quite work as well as I had originally thought. She's awesome and she inspires me a lot; it's always nice to have an excuse to work with her!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link to the album: [Dear Wormwood](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRPqKhwRQdc&list=OLAK5uy_m-dtnO3f5Tth4YPVpMFkwuo8252K4QIjI)

The view from the top of the Eiffel Tower was familiar to the two heroes. The sun was setting, and already the top of the Trocadero gardens was plunged in darkness, while the shadows were slowly extending to cover the bridge, grasping at the feet of the tower. Orange and pink melded together to create an unforgettable vista.

But neither were really looking. Her shaking had slowly subsided but she still held onto his shoulder tightly enough that her past self would be throwing a fit. In turn, the tension about him was readable too: in the sloping of his shoulders, the tenseness at the corners of his mouth and the stillness of his tail and ears.

He was worried about her, but trying to not let it show, she realised.

Miracle Queen had upended everything. Their allies, their mentor, and the relationship between them. The first, exposed to an enemy who would not hesitate to target them if they dared reprise their roles. The second, gone on a train headed away from their lives, his memories never to return. And the last… that was the hardest to parse. 

They had always been partners, even if the edges of that relationship were untested. Arguably, they had been equals (although it hadn’t always seemed that way to everyone). That was a moot point, now. She was the Guardian now. Even more than before, she made the decisions, and he had to make them happen. But she knew she couldn’t do what Fu had done, and do this all on her own. 

She needed a partner, not a pawn. 

She needed _him_. 

Now more than ever.

At the same time, she had no idea how to make that happen. She didn’t know where to begin with teaching him. There was so much about the Miraculous that she herself didn’t know. _And now there was no one and nothing to help her_ . Before she could even let out a scream in frustration, Chat Noir, _her partner,_ tightened his grip on her, and began humming ( _purring?_ ) to try to soothe her. 

The knot in her throat let up. _No, she was not alone_. 

Marinette took a deep, shaky breath and reminded herself how not alone she was. She had her partner. And Tikki. And the other kwamis. Even her friends and family. And _Luka_ , she thought, feeling the ghost of a smile forming. That had been the silver lining to a terrible day. 

No, she couldn’t let Hawk Moth win by making her feel isolated. Not when people counted on her. Not when her city counted on her. Not when _her partner_ counted on her. She tightened her grip on him, hoping it wouldn’t hurt him. They had lost, today. But perhaps this meant it was time for a change.

Yes, things weren’t as they had always hoped. But it wasn’t nothing.


	2. Bitter Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I still taste you on my lips  
>  Lovely bitter water  
>  The terrible fire of old regret is honey on my tongue  
>  And I know I shouldn't love you  
>  I know I shouldn't love you but I do _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Link to the song: [Bitter Water](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nO1jCiAwIX4)

The setting sun at the Pont des Arts never failed to surprise Adrien. As someone who had been stuck watching it from the fortress of his room, mostly alone, he had not had any frame of reference for the real thing.

He supposed this was also true of the girl whose hand he was holding. Both of them were holding onto some of Andre’s sweetheart ice cream, but that was only a secondary detail. The warm sunlight falling on her freckles and dark hair took almost all of his attention.

For once, he felt happy, understood, and most of all, _ loved _ .

This was not their first date together (how had that happened, he couldn’t remember). He had shared piece by piece all his deepest secrets, bar the last one, which he hoped would one day be his greatest gift to her. She had finished telling the most endearing story of her childhood, and he couldn’t help laughing, open and honest. His beret threatened to fall off its perch from his shaking before he managed to catch and push it back into place.

He set down his ice cream to bring his other hand through her locks, silky and long to her shoulders. There was a flicker as he studied her: blue, black, white and pink mingling together to form a familiar, unique mixture. The details of her face blurred together, but he could still make out her warm smile and bright bluebell eyes. 

And as they both leaned in to press their lips together, Adrien felt a taste like never before and it was--

* * *

_ Even now you mark my steps _

_ Lovely bitter water _

_ All the days of our delights are poison in my veins _

_ I know I shouldn't love you _

_ I know _

  
  


Bitter, as he woke up, alone in his bed.

Another week of dreams, another glimpse of someone he had loved and never known. For a while, he had suspected it was an echo of his previously numerous (and  _ obsessive _ ) dreams of Ladybug. But that was before he started dating Kagami.

He had  _ moved on _ .

He was following  _ her _ wishes! Why did these thoughts still hound him? Why was he experiencing melancholy for something that had never happened?

* * *

Marinette shook herself awake from where she had been dozing off on Luka’s houseboat. 

Another dream. Again she woke up feeling ashes on her tongue. 

No wonder her boyfriend was worried about her. He had not been impressed to hear about the #MarinetteChallenge (neither had she, honestly). 

How did she go about telling him that, really, the bad dreams were just her reliving past memories, of a version of herself she’d had to erase? Tell him that they started with a blond boy with green eyes (she could only guess it was Chat), and they ended with a statue at the bottom of the Seine?

How could she tell him that she would never be allowed to forget having loved that boy and dooming the world as a result?

_ I know I shouldn't love you _

_ I know I shouldn't love you but I do _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The [#marinettechallenge](https://www.instagram.com/p/B7BtIUPh7zZ/) is from the official Instagrams, where people are encouraged to post their best selfies next to a snoozing Marinette.

**Author's Note:**

> This was a joy to write, but it wouldn't have been possible without the support of the lovely folks from the _Miraculous Fanworks_ Discord; they organized this whole exchange, and the writing sprints we did together really kept me focused on the task. If you feel like you'd like to take part in exchanges like these, gush about Miraculous Ladybug fanfic, or just to find a welcoming community which can help with anything from beta reading to giving baking advice, feel free to join us [here](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks).


End file.
